A promising new friendship can feel exciting enough that you pour a lot into it very quickly. Long messages, intense sharing or frequent contact are meant as connection, but the other person steps back and you're left wondering how enthusiasm became too much.
- sending several follow-up messages after one especially good conversation
- sharing a deeply personal story before the friendship has found its pace
- talking at length about a shared interest and noticing the replies become shorter
- suggesting several future plans after meeting someone once
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
"Wow, you're... a lot. Really intense."
I'm so excited about this potential connection that my brain has opened all the special-interest floodgates at once.
"They followed up three times already. It feels a little desperate."
The silence feels like rejection, so I'm trying to repair whatever I might have broken. Please just give me a sign we're okay.
"They're trying way too hard to be my friend."
I've felt starved for connection for so long, and this feels like a real chance. I don't want to mess it up.
"They completely dominated the conversation."
I'm trying to prove I'm interesting enough to be friends with while also masking the panic that I'm saying all the wrong things.
Understand what’s happening—and help someone else understand.
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