A similar memory arrives as the quickest way to say, 'I understand the shape of that.' You offer the story to make company for their experience, not to move the spotlight away from it.
- replying to a friend's difficult work story with the closest thing that happened to you
- sharing your own grief after someone tells you about a loss
- jumping in with a similar parenting moment to show another parent they're understood
- realising your connecting story has become longer than the one you were responding to
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
Making it all about yourself.
Trying to prove you're a safe person who truly gets it.
One-upping their story.
Frantically searching my entire life's database for a matching file to show solidarity.
Not actually listening.
Listening so intensely my brain immediately sparked a connection to a core memory.
Being competitive or dismissive.
Trying to build a tent of shared experience for both of us to sit in.
Understand what’s happening—and help someone else understand.
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