Family attention keeps returning to what could be corrected, managed or improved about you. Conversations become progress reports, and the person you already are can disappear behind the family's plan for a better version.
- a casual visit turning into a list of habits you should change
- relatives discussing your future plan as though you are not in the room
- having strengths acknowledged only as tools for fixing a perceived weakness
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
"I'm just trying to help you be your best self!"
My brain hears: 'You are a problem that needs solving, and I'm here to manage you.'
"Why are you being so sensitive? I was just offering a suggestion."
I'm exhausted from constantly being evaluated. My quiet is a shield, not an attitude.
"You're so defensive! You can't take any constructive criticism."
This isn't 'criticism,' it's a constant stream of 'fixes' for a person who isn't broken. I'm defending my right to exist as I am.
"You never tell me anything anymore. You're so distant."
I'm avoiding the conversation because I know it will turn into another 'project management' session, and I just don't have the energy for it.
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