With one particular person, the usual performance can fall away without effort. You speak, move, go quiet and take up space more naturally, trusting that none of it needs to be translated first.
- letting your voice become flat or animated without correcting it
- moving freely or stimming while you talk
- saying you need silence and knowing the connection will still be there afterwards
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
Wow, you have so much energy all of a sudden.
This isn't *new* energy. It's the energy I was using to hold up the mask all day, finally free.
You're like a totally different person around them.
You know my carefully-managed representative. They know *me*. The difference isn't inconsistency; it's a testament to how safe I feel.
You're usually so quiet, but you won't stop talking now.
My brain is finally in a space where it doesn't have to rehearse and edit every single word. This is me, unfiltered.
Why are you being so silly and 'childish' right now?
I feel safe enough to be playful and joyful without worrying about being judged. This is what pure comfort looks like.
You seem so relaxed with them, but you're always tense with us.
That's because with them, my nervous system can finally stand down. I'm not constantly scanning and performing. It’s the ultimate compliment.
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