I'm so lazy/stupid/useless.
These words are echoes of a world that wasn't built for me, not reflections of my actual value.
What it made you think
You hear a harsh judgment, a declaration of worthlessness. It feels like a personal attack, even if it's directed inward.
The True Story
You are not lazy, stupid, or useless. You are navigating a world that doesn't understand your wiring, and that takes immense strength.
What is happening in your system?
Your nervous system interprets this as a threat, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response. It reinforces a deep-seated belief that you are inherently flawed, leading to shame and withdrawal.
What changes in you...
It can lead to avoiding challenges and masking your true self to prevent further criticism, ultimately hindering growth and authenticity.
How can I navigate this in the moment?
A few ways to respond when this lands. Take whichever feels right, or none at all.
The Low-Battery Out
I'm having a hard time right now. Can we talk later?
The Honest Explanation
When I hear that, I feel like I'm failing. I'm actually trying really hard, but I'm struggling.
Drawing the Line
I need you to stop saying that. It's not helpful, and it's hurting me. Let's change the subject.
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