Two appealing futures compete: the event where something wonderful might happen (Fear Of Missing Out), and the quiet evening where nobody needs anything from you (Joy Of Missing Out). Whichever you choose, the other one can keep tugging at your attention.
- staying home with relief, then checking everyone's photos throughout the night
- going to the event and imagining how good the empty sofa would feel
- changing your answer twice because both missing out and showing up feel costly
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
You're taking forever to decide, just pick one!
My brain is a courtroom where the Fear of Missing Out is arguing against the Joy of Missing Out, and both sides have very compelling evidence.
You cancelled again? You're so unreliable.
The desperate need to recharge my battery just won a brutal, last-minute battle against the fear of letting everyone down.
You look miserable. If you didn't want to come, you should have just said so.
The 'go out' part of me won the war, but the 'stay home' part of me is running the show now, and its only goal is to find the nearest exit.
You said you were drained, but you seem totally fine now.
The moment I chose to stay home, a tidal wave of relief hit me. This glorious energy is the *result* of canceling, not proof I should have gone.
We're having the best time, you should be here!
My decision to stay home felt right an hour ago, but now the fear of being forgotten is screaming that I made a terrible mistake.
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