Masking & Fitting In

The Competence Costume

For your guide

Choose your view

Explorer shows the broad version of the experience, without narrowing it to one neurotype.

Choose your view

Changing this updates how BirdStory explains experiences in your guide.

What do these views mean?

These views change the wording and examples BirdStory shows. They are not a diagnosis.

  • Explorer: A broad starting view for recognising patterns without choosing one neurotype.
  • ADHD: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Includes what some people still call ADD.
  • Autism: Autism spectrum. This view focuses on autistic patterns, sensory and social processing, predictability, and overwhelm.
  • AuDHD: A common shorthand for people who are both autistic and ADHD, or who strongly relate to both sets of patterns.
  • HSP: Highly Sensitive Person. Not a diagnosis, but a useful trait lens for sensitivity, depth of processing, and emotional or environmental intensity.

Pick the view that makes the experiences feel most recognisable.

Do you ever feel like you're putting on a show of "having it all together" even when you're secretly overwhelmed?

Help someone understand this

You present a version of yourself who is calm, organised and fully on top of things. Keeping that version visible takes constant effort when everything behind it feels close to falling apart. The performance can continue long after you have run out of capacity.

  • leading a meeting smoothly while your notes and deadlines are in chaos
  • answering 'all good' when you are barely keeping up
  • giving clear advice to others while avoiding your own mounting tasks
  • appearing composed through an event and collapsing as soon as you get home

Looks vs reality

The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.

How it gets read

You are so on top of things! I wish I was that organized.

What’s actually happening

My brain is currently a whirlwind of 47 open tabs and a single, screaming squirrel.

How it gets read

You're always so calm under pressure. Nothing ever gets to you.

What’s actually happening

The 'calm' you see is a carefully curated performance. Inside, I am one unexpected email away from bursting into tears.

How it gets read

Wow, you make that look so easy.

What’s actually happening

This 'easy' was fueled by a week of sleepless nights and the sheer, raw power of my anxiety.

How it gets read

You always know exactly what you're doing.

What’s actually happening

I'm improvising with the confidence of a toddler driving a forklift. Please don't look too closely.

How it gets read

Thanks for taking the lead on that, you handled it perfectly.

What’s actually happening

I was white-knuckling it the entire time, terrified of dropping even one of the 100 spinning plates.

View your Flock

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