The apology can leave your mouth before responsibility has even been considered. It appears for taking up space, asking a question, receiving help or simply being nearest when something inconvenient happens.
- saying sorry because it started raining during plans you arranged
- apologising to a cashier when their card reader fails
- starting a reasonable request with an apology
- saying sorry for taking a moment to think before answering
Looks vs reality
The same Experience can look very different from the outside than it feels on the inside.
Lacks self-esteem or is incredibly insecure.
Using 'sorry' as a shield to pre-emptively soften any potential criticism or conflict.
Being a doormat or overly submissive.
Trying to manage the flow of social energy and de-escalate tension before it even starts.
Feels guilty for everything.
It's just a verbal tic, a filler word that comes out automatically under stress.
Just wants attention or reassurance.
My goal is peace. I'm trying to make the space feel safe for everyone, including me.
Understand what’s happening—and help someone else understand.
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