I should be able to do this by now.
The gap between what I expect of myself and what I can actually do feels like a personal failure.
What it made you think
You hear that you are failing to meet expectations, and that you are somehow behind or deficient compared to others.
The True Story
You are not defined by what you 'should' be able to do. Your worth lies in your unique experiences and strengths, exactly as you are.
What is happening in your system?
Shame and self-criticism take over, fueled by internalized ableism. This can lead to a freeze response, procrastination, or burnout as you try to force yourself into a neurotypical mold.
What changes in you...
You may start avoiding tasks or situations where you fear not meeting expectations, further limiting your opportunities and experiences with this person.
How can I navigate this in the moment?
A few ways to respond when this lands. Take whichever feels right, or none at all.
The Low-Battery Out
It's okay. I'm doing my best.
The Honest Explanation
My brain works differently, so my timeline looks different. It doesn't mean I'm not capable.
Drawing the Line
I appreciate the intention, but those kinds of comparisons aren't helpful for me.
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