You're making us look bad.
My existence feels like a walking apology; I'm constantly calculating how much of myself is 'too much' for others.
What it made you think
That your inherent worth is tied to your ability to perform and conform to social expectations, and that your natural behavior is inherently shameful or unacceptable.
The True Story
Your worth is not determined by how well you perform for others. You are inherently valuable, just as you are.
What is happening in your system?
The nervous system interprets this as a threat, triggering the fight-or-flight response. It activates deep-seated fears of rejection and abandonment, leading to increased anxiety and self-doubt.
What changes in you...
You might become hyper-vigilant about your behavior in public, leading to increased anxiety and social withdrawal. You might also avoid situations where you feel you might be judged.
How can I navigate this in the moment?
A few ways to respond when this lands. Take whichever feels right, or none at all.
The Low-Battery Out
"I need a moment to process that."
The Honest Explanation
"My brain works differently, and I'm not trying to embarrass anyone. Can we talk about this later when I'm less overwhelmed?"
Drawing the Line
"I understand your concern, but comments like that make it harder for me to be myself. I'm going to step away now."
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