That's common sense.
My brain just doesn't work that way, and hearing this makes me feel fundamentally broken.
What it made you think
You hear that you are fundamentally lacking in basic understanding, which leads to feelings of shame and inadequacy.
The True Story
Your unique way of processing the world is valuable. Don't let anyone make you feel less than for it.
What is happening in your system?
The brain interprets this as a threat to social standing and competence, triggering a defensive response or shutdown to avoid further perceived failure.
What changes in you...
You might start avoiding situations where you anticipate needing to understand 'obvious' things, limiting your opportunities and experiences.
How can I navigate this in the moment?
A few ways to respond when this lands. Take whichever feels right, or none at all.
The Low-Battery Out
"My brain works differently. Can we try a different approach?"
The Honest Explanation
"When you say that, it makes me feel like I'm not smart. Could you explain it in a different way, maybe with more details?"
Drawing the Line
"I appreciate you trying to explain, but I'm not going to continue this conversation if it makes me feel bad about myself."
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